Lil' Man Xan with the Master Plan: The Master Plan

I've taken it upon myself to give my people a voice... those who can talk in full sentences in their head but not out loud. Sort of the half black Martin Luther King Jr. for the 2 year olds.... or a "Look Who's Blogging" if you will.

On the home front, the master plan is to accomplish what I've been sent here to do. Hold my Mother accountable for everything wrong she's ever done. You know... karma, retribution, the answer to my Momza's prayers.... you name it. (Momza is my Grandmother by the way). The Lil'ManXan's Master Plan is to do everything short of tormenting Ma. All out of love of course... in the spirit of passing it on. What else should she expect? I'm two and my Mother's child... the combination for the perfect storm.

We live in Manhattan and I'm parented extremely different than most kids in this city. Let's just say I don't live in the world of nannies and hand sanitizer. Nothing wrong with that of course, most of my best pals are thriving in that environment, but for me? Not a chance. My Ma's one of 8 children raised on an apple farm in Washington State. My Daddy-O is one of 7 with parents straight from Jamaica. Use your imagination.

This blog isn't a place to spell/grammar check, be impressed by my design or formatting or take everything I say for face value. I am using my freedom of expression, creativity, editing, and fibbing to dramatize or fabricate any event/posting to emphasize shock value. At times, I'll make a spectacle out of nothing. My blog is a forum for an avant-garde theatrical performance. Using the anti traditional method of blogging, meaning avoiding the "my life is so perfect and grand" approach because I'll be exposing myself in the midst of invading unknown territory. This isn't going to be a representation of the majority of my life, in fact Ill probably skip the happy-shmoopy-go-lucky stuff we all see everyday in life, and what is on everyone else's blogs. Im prepared to share what occurs behind close doors. The reality of my Terrible Two's with a purpose. I'm taking it upon myself to share some random mommy/monster anecdotes so some can relate and realize "you're not alone," and others can judge us up the wazoo and feel 10x better about yourself in comparison. Relieving you of any guilt you once felt. Regardless of how we do it, if Ma and I are making you feel better about yourself... mission accomplished.

Of course I should have started this sooner as there have been hundreds of noteworthy experiences, but it's simply impossible to back track while simultaneously keeping up with our daily drama. So as a heads up, I may post a few throw back stories here and there if I feel inspired, however for now, my brain can only remember as far ... yesterday.

So I thought to give some color in preparation for any commentary, Id expose some of the many common expressions to grace my face in the past few months. These can provide as visuals for all of the stories to come.

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